doctor love

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness another epic moment in history, I welcome you all once again to my blog as I attempt to humour you a little and hopefully pass across a message at the end of this brief rant. Before we go on lets pray:
Heavenly lord, we, your mostly troublesome creatures are calling on you once again, federal government is at it again with this subsidy palava, I thought you sent us goodluck but now it’s clear that luck is only for PDP members, o lord touch their heats for us and make their breast softer (no? okay) make them better leaders, else make EFCC stay on their tail, IRS should disturb them taya and any other anti crime commission that wants a piece of the action.
My people, your boy don get job o! yeske!, kasali now writes for a popular Nigerian magazine as a columnist, the name of my column is ‘from odina with love’. Unfortunately I was suspended last week when certain miscreants came to my office to protest the fact that I have not been acknowledging their letters. My country people I’m in need of your help as my oga gimme 2days to find a solution to their problem, please feel free to build tent in the comment box.
Dear odina kasali,
My dear, you see, I have a husband that most women would die for, he cooks, cleans, washes, he is rich and very handsome. He is even so good at dressing that I love to take him out and show him off to my friends. Kasali, the only problem is that on three occasions I caught him wearing my underwear’s and posing in front of the mirror like a leprosy patient. I don’t know what to do as he touches me less nowadays sef. Help me o!
Dear odina kasali,
My name is Audu and I live in Lagos, I have a big farm (translate to Yoruba) which is hindering me from getting a woman to marry me as they all shriek in fear when I pop out Audu jnr. One lady even fainted and woke up only after been rushed to a nearby hospital. Please I need your help.
Dear odina kasali,
I shall not state my name so that my neighbours would not know that it is me but as I may not be able to afford the next edition of this magazine, please send a response to no.23, lajorin street ebutemeta, just ask anybody for banky W’s former house, my wife sells corn in front of our house. Sir, my problem is that, though I love my wife dearly, I cannot stop cheating on her, dis tin dey pain me sotey, sometimes I dey cry wen I dey sleep with other women. Please sir I need your help
Dear odina kasali,
May God continue to increase you in wisdom sir, last week I met this great guy who has been making me feel butterflies in my tummy, he has promised to marry me and take me on a trip round the world. Our only problem is that he is currently in a secret cult group. He is trying to get out but they wont let him off easily, they said he has to give them the blood of his mother, you see his mother is dead so he suggested that I should marry him so my mother officially becomes his mother. Please I am confused, I love this guy what should I do.
Dear odina kasali
Bros I hail o, bros dia is this fine girl in my area that keeps giving me face, I think she likes me and konji sef dey carry me like am, but my fear is that I only see this girl at night, I’ve never seen her in the daytime. My friends say she be mamiwater but I don’t want to believe. Please bros what should I do.
Dear odina kasali,
My name is emeka but my friends call me eme pompin, I play football for my secondary school and I wear jersey no9. My father and mother died when I was 3yrs old and I live with my wicked aunty, Im really suffering n I need you help, God would bless you as you help me. My acc no is 4926474 GTbank, you can call me on 070317849 let me know when you post the money. My problem is that I have a girl friend and she says she wants to have sex but I am resisting, the lord would surely frown at such immoral act, I love this girl so much and I don’t want to loose her, please what should I do.
Dear odina kasali,
My name is biola, that is not my real name but you can call me that, My husbands brother has been coming on to me recently and I don’t know what to do, my husband is poor and he cant afford to give me the lifestyle Iv always wanted, his brother is rich but I swear that is not why I like him, really I just do. Please I am confused on what to do, please advice me.
Dear odina kasali,
I am from one of the federal institutions in Nigeria, precisely in Ogun state, I am currently dating a senator, a banker and PDP chieftain. Last week I found out I was pregnant but I don’t know who to call the father, please help me I don’t know who to tell because if I tell the banker, God forbid he looses his job, what would I do, the senator, when his term is over and EFCC arrest him how would I take care of my baby, and the PDP chieftain, the man is so old I doubt if he could have impregnated me and he has a very wicked wife, if the man dies, I don dull am b that.
At this point you should be tired, wish you could read the rest. The moral of the story for today is that no matter how sad your life maybe, no matter how pathetic your condition is, I believe you are far better than this people because you are definitely not this stupid, so put a smile on your face and lift your hands to GOD, remember, you are still lucky, you may be eating your rice now without meat, but the aroma of meat from your neighbours pot is a reminder that things will be well soon, some people don’t have neighbors that cook meat (this is crap I know, but just find a bit of sense in it).
Thank you.

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20 thoughts on “doctor love

  1. Trackball couldn’t stop me oº°˚. Sodiq, na advice they say make u give not mark register. Oh, well… Hilarious 😀

  2. I heard a couple of guys talking about this in the New York subway so I looked it up online and found your page. Thanks. I thought I was right and you confirmed my thoughts. Thanks for the work you’ve put into this. I’d love to save this and share with my friends.

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